Merry Christmas to Almunia - and all ANR readers

Merry Christmas to Almunia - and all ANR readers

By Myles Palmer

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A Merry Xmas to all our readers, especially our readers outside the UK, to all our friends, to all those who slag off The Professor (my best book) on the Amazon website, to all the uni kids who have essays to write during the vac, and to Manuel Almunia, the hero of Belle Vue.

I'm too mellow right now, so typing this is not easy.

Should have written a Merry Christmas greeting two days ago

Doncaster?

The 2-2 at Doncaster in the Carling Cup on Wednesday night?

Seems a long time ago.

Can't remember it.

Big Dave arrived as the first goal was scored in three minutes.

There's a throw on the left and its flicked on behind Eboue and the guy scores from a very narrow angle at the near post.....and there is a knock on the front door.

My son Michael has two friends called Dave.

Big Dave is wide and Bigger Dave is six foot five.

Jan let Big Dave in and Michael was upstairs so I said, "Dave, come and see Doncaster 1 Arsenal 0."

He came in and sat on the settee and saw the replays of the goal.

A Derby County supporter, he is really into cricket, rugby, football, everything.

"Against Chelsea we couldn't defend a throw by Gallas," I said." Now we can't defend a throw by Doncaster. These guys would not pass a GCSE in defending. He's never bought a defender, except Sol, and he got him on a free."

"Sol's got an NVQ," said Dave. "Not Very Qualified !"

The boys went out and Arsenal got back to 1-1 and then Senderos miskicked and gave Donny a goal and Almunia made some fine saves and Gilberto made it 2-2 at the death and Almunia made three penalty saves in the shoot-out and Arsenal won.

NEXT DAY I do more Xmas shopping and come home and my best friend Doug calls and I can tell he's in a taxi.

"What are you getting Wenger for Xmas?"

"A right back who doesn't ball-watch," I said.

LAST NIGHT I looked at the Xmas tree and it was perfectly vertical and very symmetrical and nicely decorated by Caroline with dangling balls, tiny silk animals, lametta and other stuff.

"I think it's the best tree we've had."

"You say that every year," said Jan.

I'm sure I DON'T say that every year

Today is Xmas Eve and I've had two home-made scones and listened to the Brian Wilson Xmas album, the new one, which I told Doug about.He said he'd get it for his wife Kate.

He phoned an hour ago and said, "If she doesn't like it, it's your fault."

"She'll love it. There's a good organ solo on God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"

Silent Night is too short, but I didn't tell Doug that.

Then I put on Frank.

Always listen to Frank at Xmas, always listen to CD3 of the Complete Capitol Singles Collection : All The Way, Chicago, Witchcraft, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

I can hear it faintly as I'm typing this upstairs in my office.

Caroline's only done 2,300 words of her essay so she's grumbling and moaning and saying she hates it.

But in the next breath she tells us about a sociologist who bugged a jury's deliberations and wrote them out word for word and published them. This was in the USA in the Fifties.The government went mental and passed new laws to prevent this ever happening again.And she's laughing her head off

My head's empty.

I've got nothing to say about football today.

We're going to a party tonight where there is bound to be social kissing and its 6.30 now so I have to choose between (1) having a shave or (2) having a shave and putting on aftershave or (3) putting on aftershave or (4) going as I am.

Neighbours Josh and Naz are popping round any second now, perhaps before I finish this.

Oh yeah : Arsenal will play Wigan and Wigan in the Carling Cup semi-final in January.

HAVE A GOOD ONE !!!!!

December 24th 2005